This Was Never The Plan:Walking with God through the Heartache of Divorce

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Divorce brings a storm of emotions—grief, anger, confusion and shame. Yet while the ache lingers, life goes on.

I have walked through this pain, so I understand how disorienting and painful it can all be. But when the publisher approached me, I didn’t want to write a book about it. I realized I was still carrying shame about being a divorced person. Which is when I sensed the Lord calling me to write it.

In this book, I draw from Scripture and my own story to offer what I’ve learned about:

  • Finding emotional clarity and letting go of shame

  • Trusting God in the uncertainties ahead

  • Healing relationally, resisting bitterness and finding community

  • Believing God has a good story for my life

I also share about navigating single parenting, church, dating and the work of rebuilding.

Whether you are in the early stages of divorce or beginning to restore your life, this book points to Christ’s faithful presence every step of the way. I have “check-ins” along the way that invite you to pause, reflect and take hold of God again and again. And the appendices are specifically directed to help guide friends and church leaders to offer support.

I also have recorded a nine-episode podcast, which is a great companion to the book. There are more details HERE.

This Was Never the Plan is available for preorder from Amazon and 25% off from the publisher. If you’ve preordered the book and April feels far away as you walk through divorce—or come alongside someone who is—I hope these practical, free bonuses will serve you in the meantime. You can access them here.

"I can attest to the unfailing hope she points the reader to in Christ, without flippancy or pat answers. Prior to this book, I knew of no books on divorce I would actually be willing to hand to a person navigating that devastating reality. Now I have one, and I am grateful for it!"

Barnabas Piper Author and podcaster

"Compassionate, wise, and vulnerably honest, Vaneetha offers women facing divorce both a roadmap for healing and a blueprint for rebuilding. She shows readers not just how to mend a broken heart but how to emerge stronger and healthier—not in spite of their pain but because of it."

Leslie Vernick Counselor; speaker; author of How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong and The Emotionally Destructive Relationship

"Vaneetha has not only walked with faith through this devastation but has been courageous enough to answer the call to help other Christians who are hurting. This book is no celebration of divorce but an offer of real, solid Christian hope in the midst of one of life's greatest anguishes."

David Mathis Executive Editor at desiringGod.org and author of Habits of Grace

"Biblically rich, wonderfully practical, and searingly honest, this is a book we so badly need. Through the measured use of her own experience, Vaneetha Risner provides a first-hand account of the struggles Christians face when their lives are upended by divorce. Where this book really excels, however, is in its description of the many ways Christ meets us in such struggles. This isn't just a book for those who have experienced divorce; it needs to be read by their friends and by the pastors of their churches."

Steve Midgley Executive Director, Biblical Counselling UK; Author, Understanding Trauma

"This book is deeply moving and profoundly courageous yet genuinely hope-filled. Vaneetha Rendall Risner's journey through the anguish of divorce is painful but vital reading for anyone who has had to trace a similar path, as well as for those walking beside them. You are not alone."

Dave and Sally Gobbett Highfields Church, Cardiff, Wales; Authors, Hallelujah

"This book helped me feel less alone in my pain, and I'll be sharing it with friends who need the reminder that, even in the devastation of divorce, God will never leave us."

Brighton Butler
Lifestyle Blogger; Founder of Brighton the Day

"With honesty and compassion, she gently guides you along a pathway of healing—helping you move through the heartbreak you feel today toward renewed hope for tomorrow. Her journey is living proof that your heart can heal, your future can be restored, and that divorce doesn't get the last word."

Steve Grissom
Founder of DivorceCare

"I wish I had had this book when I was first facing divorce. Vaneetha reminds us, in a voice we can hear, of the value of trusting Jesus despite circumstances that seem to knock us off our foundation. I pray this book is shared far and wide."

Wendy Alsup Author, Companions in Suffering and Is the Bible Good for Women?

"Vaneetha is a tender guide in this tumultuous time. This Was Never the Plan comes alongside you as you grapple with the hard questions and social challenges of processing an unwanted divorce. Allow this book to serve you one page at a time as you walk with God one day at a time."

Brad Hambrick Pastor of Counseling, The Summit Church, Durham, NC; Author, God's Attributes: Rest for Life Struggles

"With appropriate honesty and God-given grace, Vaneetha Risner shares the heartbreak of divorce and the deeper hope that can be found in Christ. This Was Never the Plan offers comfort that will help the wounded and truth that will inform the perplexed. Through it, she guides hurting believers to believe in God's purpose and rest in his love."

Tim Challies Blogger; author, Seasons of Sorrow

"Once again, my friend Vaneetha Risner has parlayed her suffering into deep understanding, scriptural fidelity, and gracious blessing. I strongly recommend this resource, for those who are facing divorce and also for those who are seeking to help."

Elyse Fitzpatrick Author and speaker

"As someone who has personally walked through the devastation of divorce, I know the crushing weight of betrayal, the loneliness of an empty home, and the ache of wondering if life will ever feel whole again. This Was Never the Plan is such a rare and necessary gift. It is tender, timely, and profoundly hopeful. Vaneetha writes not as a detached expert but as a fellow sojourner. This is a trustworthy companion for anyone navigating the heartbreak of divorce."

Shannon Kay McCoy Counselor; Speaker; Author, Help! I'm a Slave to Food

"There are no well-worn platitudes or shallow promises but plenty of compassion, wisdom, and grace—and just the right amount of humour. Vaneetha's experience enables her to speak tenderly, and she also offers practical guidance for those navigating the challenges of single parenting, dating, and belonging at church."

Carolyn Lacey Author of Say the Right Thing and Extraordinary Hospitality (for Ordinary People)